so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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