I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Randomize
