You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
