He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
