who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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