I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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