it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
