All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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