i would one night stand the shit outta him
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I can't put those talents on a resume
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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