im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Randomize
