five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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