Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
