Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
