I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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