We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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