I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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