He is an equal opportunity slut.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
