she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Randomize
