dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
