this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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