Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
