the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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