I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
