i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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