i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
last night I used snow as a chaser
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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