oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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