is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
