me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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