Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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