Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
