Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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