Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
