Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
