It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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