pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
