You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
