In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
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