Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
