I am puke
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
