I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
