we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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