Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
