He asked to "fluff my boner.."
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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