Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
