yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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