This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
