I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
