And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
