i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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