It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I need help removing her.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I'm at about main and main street
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
The air was thick with penises
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
