so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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